'John Wayne made real movies. There ain't no queer in cowboy.'

In this article, Jim-Bob Zimmerschied is quoted as saying:

"I've been doing this job all my life and I ain't never met no gay cowboy. It wouldn't be right."

So, Jim-Bob, you think there are no gay cowboys? Well, if you've lived long enough and met enough cowboys, then at least one of them was gay. Trust me...

I don't know, maybe he's right... Maybe there really are no gay cowboys, just like there are no gay soldiers, right?

Carter 'disappointed' with Bush

Here's an old article. What's that expression again? "The enemy of my enemy..."

Endangered Values

Of all the American Presidents that I can recall in my lifetime, the only one I respect is Jimmy Carter, which amazes and astounds me, because I distinctly remember disliking him with a passion when I was a child.

I think the first time I realized I might be wrong was when I saw a This Old House episode where they worked on a project for Habitat for Humanity, and I discovered that not only does he support the organization, he actually gets out there and swings a hammer with the common folk.

I was about six years old when Johnson left office, so my first real memories of the American Presidency were of the illustrious (and imfamous) Richard Milhouse Nixon, good 'ole Tricky Dick. Between the war in Vietnam and the Watergate debacle, I can't say that I've ever held the office of El Presidente in much esteem, and I still don't.

But then, along comes a man like Jimmy Carter, someone who actually exhibits what I consider to be statesman-like tendencies, and it makes you wonder...


Links:

• Endangered Values
• The Carter Center
• Habitat for Humanity
  

Google Firefox Extensions

I finally broke down and installed Google's Blogger Web Comments extension. I've always been thoroughly impressed with the work that they do, and this extension is no exception. Outstanding!

I must admit that I get a little nervous whenever someone offers to keep track of all the sites I visit; it smacks of Big Brother. Maybe I'm just used to Microsoft: after all this time, the idea that any company might actually want to help me and make my life easier is hard to imagine.

Check out:

• googleblog.blogspot.com
• Google Labs
• Google Firefox Extensions
  

American Civil Liberties Union

From their website:

The ACLU is our nation's guardian of liberty. We work daily in courts, legislatures and communities to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the Constitution and laws of the United States. Our job is to conserve America's original civic values: the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

No wonder religious fundamentalists are so afraid of them...

America's Founding Fathers

Organizations like the AFA would have you believe that America was founded on Judeo-Christian ethics.

I disagree. I am not a historian, but I think the founding fathers probably had a lot on their mind, including the separation of church and state, which is why we no longer have prayer in school.

America began with the Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

It may be a gross oversimplification, but I think the founding fathers wanted two things: freedom and equality. So it saddens me to think that so many Americans today are willing to surrender their freedom for the semblance, the mere illusion of security, when our forefathers were willing to give their very lives for that same freedom.

Equality in America is a joke... It doesn't exist. It never has. It never will, not while organizations like the AFA and men like George W. Bush influence public opinion and policy.

The founding fathers created a deliberate and distinct separation of church and state. I think they understood that when a church or religion exerts any influence on the state, the combination eventually devolves into a theocracy, which is where I believe we are headed. America is a democracy, and one of the basic principles of democracy is majority rule. But what happens if the majority is wrong.

AFA Targets Advertisers Of New 'Gay' TV Series

The AFA defames gays and lesbians at every opportunity, but when a show like "The Book of Daniel" portrays christians as real humans with real flaws, they pull out all the guns. If they can't intimidate the networks and producers directly, they resort to extortion by threatening to boycott their advertisers.

These are sick, twisted and hateful people.

Brokeback Mountain -- The Real Message

When gay men and women are forced to conform to your narrow definition of societal norms, bad things happen.

Jack and Ennis found each other, but they couldn't stay together. Ennis certainly knew this:

[Ennis is describing a childhood memory to Jack]
Ennis Del Mar: I tell ya there... there were these two old guys ranched up together, down home. Earl and Rich. They were pretty tough ol' birds. Anyway they... they found Earl dead in an irrigation ditch. Took a tire iron to 'im. Spurred him up, drug him 'round by his dick 'till it pulled off.
Jack Twist: You seen this?
Ennis Del Mar: I wasn't... nine years old. My daddy, he made sure me and brother seen it. Hell for all I know, he done the job.

So, they left each other to go be "normal".

Here is one simple truth: you cannot ignore who you are. You can try, but pretending to be something you're not just doesn't work. In the case of Jack and Ennis, it led to infidelity and generally made everyone involved miserable.

None of it had to happen...

Suppose, for a moment, that Jack met Ennis. They fell in love, got married and built a life together. They shared their ups and downs, cared for each other, grew old together and eventually died.

Okay... So what would have happened? (besides making for a rather boring movie.) Let's see:

Would society have come crashing down?

There have always been gay men and women living in long-term, committed relationships. Have they damaged society? No. Granted, I have no evidence to support my claim, but, then again, you have no evidence to support your claim that they have.

If anything will cause society to come crashing down, it will be reality shows.

Would your God have smote the world?

You have to admit, he hasn't smote anything in quite some time.

If American society is as depraved as you believe it to be, don't you think that if he was going to do his Sodom and Gomorrah thing again, he'd have done it by now?

Would the Earth have exploded and been cast into the depths of a fiery hell?

Probably not, although it'd be soooo cool -- so long as ILM did the special effects.

The "Real" Marlboro Man

Wayne McLaren, the model who became the Marlboro Man, died 22 July 1992 at the age of 51 from lung cancer. An American icon in action.

How ironic.

Robertson: Pa. Voters Rejected God

I know this is old news, but, still, you just have to wonder:

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God. You just rejected him from your city."
-- Pat Robertson, on the "700 Club"

What did they do? They deposed the school board members up for re-election after trying to introduce "intelligent design" — the belief that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power — as an alternative to the theory of evolution.

President gaffes in terror speech

Watch the video for yourself:

"(Our enemies) never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people - and neither do we"
-- President George W. Bush

I mean, you really couldn't make this shit up...

CRIMINALIZING CHRISTIANITY

This article reads:

"This has become more than a seasonal witch hunt by the ACLU," said WND Editor and founder Joseph Farah. "The attacks on Christianity in America are alarming. We are witnessing more than religious bigotry now. We are entering the early stages of what could become persecution and outright criminalization of Christianity if it is not exposed and fought vigorously by all freedom-loving people."

Payback's a bitch, ain't it...

Brokeback Mountainspoiler alert

The audience was larger than expected and far better behaved than I first anticipated, given how noisy they were before the feature started.

Their reaction to the lead characters' first sexual encounter was... I don't know... unexpected. They laughed. The scene was a bit awkward, to be sure, but not funny. I guess watching two men fuck makes the straights a bit nervous.

One lady, two rows in front of me, got up and left at that point. Let's see... She bought a ticket to an R-rated film about two "gay cowboys", and she's shocked when they have sex? Lady, you should have spent the $8.50 and bought a fucking clue.

Equally interesting was their reaction to the scene where Alma, played by Michelle Williams, discovers that her husband Ennis, played by Heath Ledger, is having an affair. Of course, the audience empathized with her; I must admit that, to some extent, I did too. But their reaction seemed... inordinate. If he'd been having an affair with another woman instead of a man, would they have reacted at all? I doubt it.

Their reaction to the ending was... well, non-existant. I, on the other hand, was a wreck. When Ennis turned over the postcard he'd sent Jack, and I saw the word "DECEASED" stamped in red, it wrenched my heart out. Then, when Ennis is on the phone talking to Jack's wife, she explains the tragic accident that took his life, apparently a tire exploded, and the scene cuts to three men beating Jack with a tire iron...

Jack Twist wasn't a very good husband. He was unfaithful. Okay... Shit happens.

If a man divorces his wife because he's in love with another women, so what... a little scandle, child support, some alimony and it all blows over.

If a man divorces his wife because he's in love with another man, well... then three of his father-in-law's best friends come along and beat him to death with a tire iron.

I know it's just a movie, and I know I shouldn't get wound around the axle, but shit like this really does happen, and I'm sick and tired of it.

"The Book of Daniel"

The AFA (a.k.a. American Fuck-heads Anonymous) are at it again. Their online petition complains that NBC's new drama "mocks Christianity."

Here are the highlights:

1. The main character is a drug-addicted Episcopal priest, who "regularly sees and talks with a very unconventional white-robed, bearded Jesus."
2. His wife depends heavily on her mid-day martinis.
3. His 16-year-old adopted son is having sex with the bishop's daughter.
4. His 16-year-old daughter is a drug dealer.
5. His 23-year-old son is a homosexual Republican.
6. His lesbian secretary is sleeping with his sister-in-law.
   

I don't know... Sounds like a pretty typical family to me.

What do you think rankles them most? The adopted son having under-age, pre-marital sex with the bishop's daughter, or the fact that the eldest son is a homosexual Republican? Wait a second? Can you actually be a homosexual Republican? I mean, that's a bit like being a Jewish Nazi, isn't it?

'Brokeback Mountain': Rape of the Marlboro Man

This idiot wrote:

The "Marlboro Man" campaign launched 50 years ago. Today, the powerful cowboy image is being used to sell us on another self-destructive product: homosexual sex and "gay" marriage.

"Powerful cowboy image?" Oh, puh-lease... I think the days of little children playing cowboys and indians have long since passed, except, of course, for David Kupelian. Homophobes like this guy usually have a pair of leather chaps, a little felt cowboy hat and a plastic six-shooter hidden in the back of their closet and used only for "special occasions." Ride 'em cowboy...

Theme from M*A*S*H

Isn't ironic that the theme from M*A*S*H was a song titled "Suicide is Painless".

You call this tolerance?

Many straight people's idea of tolerance is the old "as long as you keep it behind closed doors" attitude.

Well, that's bullshit. That's not tolerance, it's avoidance. And it's a double standard: we have to deal with your heterosexuality each and every day. We see your wedding bands... We hear you talk about your spouses... We see you walking down the street, through the mall or down the grocery aisle together... We see you holding hands... We see your public displays of affection... We have to put up with your snot-nosed brats... And we have to hear that you and your wife are "expecting," which is, for all intents and purposes, essentially announcing that you fucked your wife.

Honestly? I don't have a problem with any of that.

What I can't stand is you getting your panties in a wad when you see two guys holding hands or kissing in public.

Just get over it, m'kay?

Fudge-packer

That's what he said. Honest. Given that he was attesting to his tolerance, I find it quite ironic.

Needless to say, he made me sad, and, these days I really don't need that. I got quiet and simply walked away. He chased me down and seemed genuinely upset that he had upset me. He wanted to know what he had said wrong. I just mumbled something about having a bad week. He pressed the issue, so I lied: I told him it doesn't matter. The truth is, it does, but if he doesn't know what upset me, then telling him won't make a difference.

He said he didn't want to lose me as a friend. Unfortunately, my internal censors were a little slow on the up-take... I scoffed, for want of a better term; I laughed, that is, but just a bit. He wanted to know what was funny. I couldn't tell him... I didn't know how to explain that all of my friends, the people who knew me -- knew who and what I was -- and wanted to be a part of my life and wanted me to be a part of their lives, are all dead... nearly twenty years now. I've been alone since.

He crossed "the line". It's funny... I hadn't realized that I'd drawn a line until he crossed it.

At the end of the day, how can you tell someone that they hurt you? I don't know... I guess you don't. Sometimes, you never get the chance. You just hope that it will all come out in the wash.

The Men with the Pink Triangle

If you've ever wondered why gays use the pink triangle as a symbol, read this excerpt from Heinz Heger's book:

While I was there [Flossenbürg concentration camp], a prisoner with a pink triangle, from Innsbruck in Austria, was tortured to death in the bunker. He was stripped naked and his hands tied to a hook in the wall so that his body hung in the air, and he couldn't touch the ground with his feet. Two or three SS men who were assigned to the cell block, as the bunker was officially known, stood around and waited for the "performance" to start - that is the torture of the Tirol lad.

The first game that the SS sergeant and his men played was to tickle their victim with goose feathers, on the soles of his feet, between his legs, in the armpits, and on other parts of his naked body. At first the prisoner forced himself to keep silent, while his eyes twitched in fear and torment from one SS man to the other. Then he could not restrain himself and finally he broke out in a high-pitched laughter that very soon turned into a cry of pain, while the tears ran down his face, and his body twisted against his chains. After this tickling torture, they let the lad hang there for a little, while a flood of tears ran down his cheeks and he cried and sobbed uncontrollably.

But the depraved SS men were set on having a lot more fun with this poor creature. The bunker Capo had to bring two metal bowls, one filled with cold water and the other with hot. "Now we're going to boil your eggs for you, you filthy queer, you'll soon feel warm enough," the bunker officer said gleefully, raising the bowl with hot water between the victim's thighs so that his balls hung down into it. The prisoner let out a shattering scream for help, the pain hurt him so much. He tried to struggle free or roll to one side, but the ties on his hands and feet held him tight.

"Give him the cold water, then, he's already hot, the filthy swine," one of the SS men laughed brutally, whereupon the SS butchers took up the cold water and placed this bowl between their victim's thighs. Again he screamed in agony, for the cold water must have been excruciating after the extreme heat. Time and again he tried to break free from his chains, but he just exhausted himself fruitlessly.

This procedure was repeated several times, until the tormented victim lost consciousness, after he had screamed himself hoarse and could now only emit a kind of gurgle. A bucket of cold water was thrown over him to bring him round, then the torture was started again, with bits of skin now hanging visibly down from the victim's scalded scrotum.

While carrying out these tortures, the SS monsters got through a bottle or two of spirits that they passed round. They were already quite drunk when they hit upon a new torture that could only have been thought up in the brain of someone totally perverted.

"He's a butt-fucker, isn't he, let him have what he wants," growled one of the SS men, taking up a broom that stood in the comer and shoving the handle deep into the prisoner's anus. He was already incapable of screaming anymore - his voice had simply seized up with pain - but his body jerked and tore at the chains; there was still a lot of life left in the lad. But the SS men only laughed the louder at the "filthy queer," who moved his lips as if to cry out without any sound emerging.

Finally they cut the fainting man down and let him fall to the floor, where he lay in a heap without stirring, his limbs bent under him. The drunken SS men staggered out into the open, but the last of them stumbled over the martyred prisoner who was still lying on the ground. Angrily he kicked the victim with the toe of his boot, and he began to stir again.

"The filthy queer's still alive," he burbled, taking up a wooden stool that was standing next to the wall and bringing it down with all his force on the victim's head. This finally freed the poor martyr from his pains, for now he was really dead.

You can't forget that, ever. You shouldn't.

Firefly

Lyrics from the Firefly Theme:

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me
There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me...

What are your priorities?

If you spend any time worrying that gay marriage will tear at the fabric of American society, then read Amnesty International's report on the USA for 2005.

Guantánamo Bay
By the end of the year, more than 500 detainees of around 35 nationalities continued to be held without charge or trial at the US naval base in Guantánamo Bay on grounds of possible links to al-Qa’ida or the former Taleban government of Afghanistan. While at least 10 more detainees were transferred to the base from Afghanistan during the year, more than 100 others were transferred to their home countries for continued detention or release. At least three child detainees were among those released, but at least two other people who were under 18 at the time of their detention were believed to remain in Guantánamo by the end of the year. Neither the identities nor the precise numbers of detainees held in Guantánamo were provided by the Department of Defense, fuelling concern that individual detainees could be transferred to and from the base without appearing in official statistics.

Torture and ill-treatment of detainees outside the USA
Photographic evidence of the torture and ill-treatment of detainees in Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq by US soldiers became public in late April, causing widespread national and international concern. President Bush and other officials immediately asserted that the problem was restricted to Abu Ghraib and a few wayward soldiers.

If they immediately asserted that the problem was restricted to Abu Ghraib, doesn't that suggest that they were aware of the situation? It goes on to say:

On 22 June, after the leaking of earlier government documents relating to the “war on terror” suggesting that torture and ill-treatment had been envisaged, the administration took the step of declassifying selected documents to “set the record straight”. However, the released documents showed that the administration had sanctioned interrogation techniques that violated the UN Convention against Torture and that the President had stated in a central policy memorandum dated 7 February 2002 that, although the USA’s values “call for us to treat detainees humanely”, there are some “who are not legally entitled to such treatment”.

"Not legally entitled to such treatment." Really? They're not entitled to be treated humanely? If you are NOT disturbed by such attitudes, then stop and think about it for a while.

Land of the free? Home of the brave?

White House drops long-standing opposition to torture legislation

This article states:

"The White House bowed to international and congressional pressure yesterday and abandoned its opposition to Senate legislation prohibiting the use of cruel, inhuman or degrading interrogation methods of detainees in US custody around the world."

Ah, yes... We live in a great country, with great leaders.

I don't know. I think being galactically stupid should be grounds for impeachment. But hey... nobody listens to me.

AFA an extreme anti-gay group

This article claims that the American Family Association is an extreme anti-gay group. DUH! It quotes excerpts from AFA's position on "the homosexual agenda":

"The homosexual movement...will lead to the normalization of even more deviant behavior."

These fuck-heads have normalized hate and bigotry, and they're worried about the impact of the homosexual movement? How do these ass-wipes look at themselves in the mirror in the morning?

Gary Seber

Gary Seber is simply a phenomenal musician. I had an opportunity to see him play live at JP Hops House. If you're ever in the Houston area, I encourage you to check out one or more of his performances. Or better yet, buy his CD.

Speaking of OPT OUT...

Isn't it ironic that American society requires you to opt out of everything... yet won't allow you to opt out of life.

The Buddha said that "Life is suffering," or something to that effect. No shit! Some philosophies suggest that our souls are put here, in this reality, to learn some lesson. If that's true, then, to my mind, this is nothing more than some sort of fucked up game of "Go Fish." And, if that is the case, then just tell me what I'm supposed to learn and let me get the hell out of here.

The way I see it... This is my "deep-dark, fucked-up, played-out reality show", and I have the right to say when it should end. Will someone roll the credits... please?

OPT OUT!

Here in America, we are forced to "opt out" of all of the useless and annoying email spam, snail-mail spam and telephone solicitations. You even have to explicitly tell all of the banks and other companies with whom you do business not share your vital personal information with all of the assholes out there who perpetrate the aforementioned atrocities. And, of course, our government can't or won't really do anything about it, lest they piss off the great god Capitalism.

Given the religious bent of our current leadership, I'd like to propose an eleventh commandment:

Thou shalt leave me the fuck alone.

forty-two?

The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. And I think that even if I'm unfortunate enough to live to be 84, I still won't know what the fuck any of this shit means...

The Gay Youth Chronicles

If you've never read any of Mark Roeder's work, you're missing out.

Personally, I really enjoy a series like his Gay Youth Chronicles, which allows you to immerse yourself in the lives of a group of people across generations. You really get to know the characters and watch them grow over time.

I started with "The Soccer Field is Empty". It's not the most well written book, but it is one of the best books I've ever read. I was instantly addicted.

There are eleven books in the series. I highly recommend you check them out.

Geography Club: BANNED!

Brent Hartinger's novel, titled Geography Club, has been banned. An article in the News Tribute reads:

Acting on a parent complaint, University Place schools Superintendent Patti Banks has removed a novel about gay teens from district library shelves.

Banks said her decision had nothing to do with the theme of homosexuality in "Geography Club." Instead, she was alarmed by the "romanticized" portrayal of a teen meeting a stranger at night in a park after connecting with that person - who turns out to be a gay classmate - through an Internet chat room.

Read Brent's Blog. I think his rebuttals explain the situation quite well. Better yet, read the book yourself. I have. It's excellent.

IMNSHO, this is homophobia, thinly veiled behind someone's alleged "good intentions". If you're concerned about the health and well-being of your teens, then talk to them. I'm sure they can explain everything to you.

Found On the Road Dubious

Okay, this is old news, which is an oxymoron, I know...

Speaking of morons: Ford pulled its advertising from LGBT publications.

Apparently the A.F.A. (A.K.A. the American Family Association) (A.K.A. American Fuck-heads Anonymous) has decided that selling Jaguars and Range Rovers to gays and lesbians is a bad thing. I suppose it's really that they don't want anyone supporting anything even remotely gay.

Bullies... Homophobes... Nazi bastards...

I don't know... If I were to believe in some sort of supreme being, I think my version of this deity would be pretty pissed at your hateful attitude. If yours isn't, then fuck Him.

QuesoKid: Your Favorite Firefox Extensions

Yeah! What he said...

Seriously... I've been using Firefox almost exclusively now for quite some time. I'm EXTREMELY pleased with it. It beats Internet Exploder HANDS DOWN in so many ways, I simply haven't the time to explain.

If you haven't tried it. Just do it. Scroll down and click the "Get Firefox" button.

Come on... What are you waiting for? I haven't got all day.

"collage"

"i hate you...",
"i hate this life...",
mumbled as troubled
sleep slowly dissolves.

the actor finally stirs,
going through the motions,
speaking the lines
of a long-ago discarded script,
pretending to be happy...
pretending that it matters...

stumbling through the haze
of an empty pain,
a fog of uncertainty and doubt.

seconds tick by,
hours blur past,
while pixels paint vapid scenes,
images that never last.

sipping the orange,
as the gray fades to black,
scratching words, never to be read,
on rumpled pages.

moonless sky,
ancient lights shine,
cold, and long dead.

awake, exhausted,
yet afraid to sleep,
of nightmares,
haunted by ghosts from the past.

© 2005

Telephone solicitation...

TO: The Asshole Who Keeps Calling
FROM: Me
RE: Your fucking automated phone solicitations

I have an epic greeting on my answering machine, just to dissuade shit-heads like you. Unfortunately, you don't know that, because you're using an automated solicitor. So, all I get is:

"...and if you're interested in this offer, press 8 now, and your call will be transferred to me immediately."

I don't know what the fuck you're hawking, but If it's not important enough to call me yourself, then just go away and leave me the fuck alone.

Thanks.

Brokeback Mountain

This is one movie that I will defintely get off my lazy ass and go to the local mega-plex to see. YOU should too...

FREE Wiki

Ahh... To Wiki, or not to Wiki, that is the question.

One in 16 Britons is homosexual

"It means that six per cent of the population - about 3.6 million people - are gay or lesbian."

Kinsey's statistics suggested 10%. "Conservatives" rebut with a figure more like 1%. Are the politicians against gay marriage because they fear what the statistics might reveal? Hey, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you...

Firefly - The Complete Series

A co-worker of mine, obsessed with all things cheese, kept raving about this series. I finally broke down and bought it. I must admit to a certain degree of skepticism at first, but now that I'm mid-way through the second disk, I'm pretty much hooked. Dammit.

I've heard that Mal, the captain of Serenity, is often compared to Han Solo. Actually, he reminds me of the character Brian Kinney, from Queer as Folk. (The actors even look alike, sorta.) Both characters project a certain kind of self-absorbed bravado but in reality are reluctant heros. Despite my best efforts, I find myself liking the character of Mal more and more; here's a quote from the episode titled "Safe":

Simon: Captain, why did you come back for us?
Mal: You're on my crew.
Simon: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?
Mal: You're on my crew. Why we still talking about this?

This series is definitely worth your time.

Care and handling of your new Xbox 360...

Microsoft should include this video in their user documentation. It demonstrates, rather grapically, the only way to derive the appropriate amount of gratification from this product.

Oh, and here are some reactions from a couple of devout customers:

Abid Syed [syedabidh@gmail.com]
When there is so many unfortunate people in the world, why would you be so WHITE and so lifeless to go do something gay like smashing an xbox. Plus I feel sorry for the losers who donate on your website. probably lifeless gay white peopel like u are. losers.

scott scott [touchthesky2006@hotmail.com]
wow. this is some gay shit. youre actually going to waste $430 on this shit?
i cant believe people have actually donated. this is some pure bullshit. i cant believe you dont have anything better to do. that $430 could go to something good.. but no.. you want to smash a $430 xbox. thats lame. i hope you dont get to $430. and if you do i hope theres a shortage and you dont get one. this is just stupid. i hope no one else donates to this stupid shit.

You think beating up on an innocent little Xbox is GAY? No. Bashing things is what you homophobic fuckers do.

Power down your sacred Xbox and get a fucking life...

Emo

Man: Emo, Emo, Emo
Emo: I'm the one in the middle, ya' drunken bastard

Math teacher: So, Emo, what's our common denominator?
Emo: I don't know; a fondness for little girls?

Favorites

• Breakfast: Amalia's breakfast tacos on every other Thursday
• Lunch: Chipotle
• Dinner: Filet mignon at Carrrabba's
• Soup: Lentil with sausage at Carrrabba's
• Soup (store-bought): Progresso Minestrone
• Salad: Sweet Tomatoes
• Movie (all-time): Get Real
• Actor: Vincent Kartheiser
• Actress: Milla Jovovich
• Movie (science-fiction): The Fifth Element
• Movie (comedy): Young Frankenstein
• Accent: Lucas Black
• Musical group: Hanson & The Calling
• Musical artist: Jonny Lang
• Song: "Stigmatized" by The Calling
• Video: "Adrienne" by The Calling
  
• TV Series: Star Trek: Enterprise
  
• Cable Series: Battlestar Galactica
• HBO Series: Carnivàle
• SHO Series: Dead Like Me
• Comedian: Lewis Black
  

Oh, Puh-lease...

The planet is populated with a plethora of pious people, pontificating profusely and procreating prodigiously. They ponder, perhaps, the peculiar proclivities of a president, predisposed, as it were, to prejudice and persecution, a pugnacious parliamentarian, purposefully pandering to these parishioners and perceptibly prevaricating to perpetuate pernicious pejoratives. He promises paradise but produces only placeboes. He plays the pensive prince but is, for all practical purposes, a pretender, prostituting pristine principals for prurient politics. What a prick.

Christmas List

• DirecTV HD DVR
• Second season of Carnivàle on DVD
• Battlestar Galactica - Season One
• Battlestar Galactica - Season 2.0
• A portable DVD player -- preferrably water proof
  (don't ask)
  
• A Boyfriend
  (think: Vincent Kartheiser)
  
• Wonder Falls -- The Complete Series

Merry F#%$ing Christmas(The Politics of Loneliness, Part 2)

Christmas is a joyous occasion, a time of giving, peace on Earth, good will toward men...

'scuse me while I retch...

For some, this is the worst time of the year. Many believe the suicide rate increases during the winter holiday season. Others suggest this is simply an urban legend. Statistics never lie, do they?

Be that as it may...

Just imagine, for a moment, sitting at home... alone... on Christmas Eve. You're watching the 1,365,427th showing of "It's a Wonderful Life." At this point, you've polished off half a bottle of Absolut, and now you're bawling your eyes out over Zuzu's fucking petals. Then, when the end-credits finally roll, you turn off the TV and are plunged into silence. You look around... and you realize that all you want to do is suck on the end of your 12-gauge and blow the back of your fucking skull all over the carpet.

Cheery fucking thought, isn't it? Just call me "Sunshine."

Robbie Williams ‘Not Gay’; Wins Libel Suit

"British pop superstar Robbie Williams was awarded substantial libel damages this week over a series of stories published in 2004 alleging he is living his life in the closet."

"In the early ’90s, then superstar couple Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford took out a full page ad in trade publications assuring the public they were indeed ‘Not Gay'."

Main Entry: li·bel
Pronunciation: 'lI-b&l
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, written declaration, from Middle French, from Latin libellus, diminutive of liber book
1 a : a written statement in which a plaintiff in certain courts sets forth the cause of action or the relief sought b archaic : a handbill especially attacking or defaming someone
2 a : a written or oral defamatory statement or representation that conveys an unjustly unfavorable impression b (1) : a statement or representation published without just cause and tending to expose another to public contempt (2) : defamation of a person by written or representational means (3) : the publication of blasphemous, treasonable, seditious, or obscene writings or pictures (4) : the act, tort, or crime of publishing such a libel

Isn't that a kick in the rubber parts?

Speaking of Cell Phones...

You can't drink and drive. Why? Because it impairs your ability to safely operate your vehicle. Face it, your driving already pretty much sucks, even while you're NOT under the influence.

Talking on your cell phone has a similarly deleterious effect. So, here are some new rules:

1. If you're not dialing 911, hang up the fucking phone and drive
2. If you need to dial 911, pull over to the side of the road first
3. If someone calls YOU while you're driving, call them back later -- if it's really an emergency, they'll dial 911
   

Can you here me now?

"october wind"

life is simple, really,
we're born, we die,
and everything in between
is equally meaningless.

we enter this world
lost and afraid,
born to a mother
who loves the son she wanted.

we dream, some nights,
of life and love,
of what might be,
but we wake each morning,
disappointed and angry,
having to face another day.

god's faithful hate us,
simply for being,
yet even when there's clearly no hope,
they deny us a peaceful end.

to them,
the world is binary,
good or evil,
right or wrong,
same or different.

eventually though,
we leave this world,
alone,
a fragile leaf,
brittle, used up,
blown away by a chilly october wind.

© 2005

Dancing Queen

I'm a Scott Adams fan. I read Dilbert, when I can. Recently, I discovered his blog, through a co-worker. Anyway... his latest installment, titled "How to Dance", is pretty funny.

At the end, though, he says:

At this point you’re also effectively gay, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

For those of you who haven't read his article: I guess the implication is that gay men are good dancers. This is, of course, a stereotype, which I can assure you is most definitely false. As stereotypes go, thought, it's one of the less objectionable, but that's not really the problem.

He says, "There's nothing wrong with that." Being gay, that is. True, but no one believes him. If they did, then the expression "that's so gay" would not be a epithet. If you don't believe me, then try your own little experiment: walk up to any random heterosexual man and tell him you think he's gay.

NO! I will NOT pay your hospital bill.

[sigh]

All kidding aside, it makes me very sad to know that I will never change anyone's mind, or live long enough to see these attitudes change.

Oh bother.

First Cell Phone for Dogs

re: Canine LoJack

Dude,
Ever heard of a fucking leash? What about a fence?
--Ste.

PS: What will you think of next?

Boycotting Sopranos

I've seriously considered boycotting Sopranos during the upcoming season. HBO unceremoniously canceled its series "Carnivale", which is, in my not so humble opinion, one of the best ever produced.

A spokesperson for HBO claimed that the story was brought to a logical conclusion. Huh? Did you actually watch the same season finale that I saw? The caravan was leaving New Caanan just as Sophie was apparently healing Brother Justin. Come on... give me a fucking break. Logical conclusion? NO! Think: cliff hanger...

Do the idiots in the programming department at HBO deserve my loyalty? No. Sorry. I think not.

DirecTV with TiVo ROCKS!

I've always been very impressed with their service. It's hands-down better than any wired cable service I've ever had. If you haven't tried it, I suggest you do.

Organized religion is evil!

It is. Trust me.

I have no problem with spirituality. If you want to commune with the god to whom you pray, then do it. You have my permission.

The problem starts when a group of you congregate... There is, unfortunately, a fine line between a group and a mob... or a herd, for that matter. You listen to the teaching of your pastor -- a shepherd, as it were -- and begin to think and act as a group. Then, when that shepherd shouts "wolf", you panic.

Calm down, take a deep breath and then ask yourself, "What is my greatest fear?" Is it two men getting married? To quote my favorite movie, "It’s only love. What’s everyone so scared of?"

Now, ask yourself, "How does this affect my life?" Let me give you a hint: the answer is, "It doesn't," so go away, mind your own business and leave us the fuck alone. M'kay?

So delusional???

I'm always amazed when I hear people say, 'that George Bush, he's a great leader.' And I wonder, where can one find a drug that would make one so delusional?
        -- Lewis Black

"Deadwood"

i always wonder:
why do people insist on asking questions,
when they care absolutely fuckin' nothing about the answers?

it's become so ingrained in human fuckin' nature,
the compulsion, that is, to always
observe the social fuckin' pleasantries.

"how are you," can mean anything from
"hello" to "fuck you",
and ought not be accidentally mistaken
for an expression of fuckin' solicitude.

© 2005

"Fire"

here, amid a desolate plain,
flat, dull, utterly featureless,
stretching out to infinity,
toward the end of the world
that lurks just beyond the horizon.

no sun,
yet an oppressive heat bakes,
draining life away like sweat.

the ground, a lifeless beige,
hard packed, refusing to yield,
giving no evidence of my passing.

the sky, a pale gray,
competes with the bleakness of the terrain,
cold, uncaring,
promising no respite from the heat.

no shadows fall,
just a blinding glare,
while the air boils;
in the shimmering heat,
the distant horizon fades to obscurity.

throat parched, thirsting without end;
lungs seared by the wind...
arid, soulless, constant,
relentlessly scouring the land,
whistling a discordant tune.

© 2005

The Politics of Loneliness

Last year, one of my co-workers invited me to join him and his family for Thanksgiving dinner. At some point in the conversation, he said something to the effect of: "No one should be alone on Thanksgiving."

I wanted to ask, "Yeah, but what about the other 364 days of the fucking year?"

What he doesn't understand (and never will) is that when you have no family... when you have no friends... you spend the holidays, like every other day of the year, alone. As Bruce Hornsby said: "That's just the way it is; some things will never change."



PS: No one invited me to Thanksgiving dinner this year.

Intelligent Design

Intelligent Design is all the rage these days, with fundamentalists and politicians alike. If that's your thing, then more power to you, but what ever you do, just keep it out of the schools. Leave it in the church where it belongs.

Really... The idea that someone, God I suppose, intended for us to live in this deep dark, fucked-up, played-out reality show, is just... I don't know, fucked up.

Intelligent? Yeah... I'd say the universe turned out like a P/C running Windows. I mean if you believe biblical mythology, then at one point shit got so fucked up that God decided to reformat and reinstall the O/S. Mind you, it took him 40 days and nights; downloading and installing all of those security patches is a real bitch...

Untitled

everything ends,
eventually,
until there's nothing left.

© 2005

"nothing"

nothing exists.
it's all around us,
defines what we are.

nothing remains.
it's there to remind us
what we've lost.

nothing matters.
it fills the empty space in my heart,
gives it shape,
and shows what might have been.

nothing fills
the footsteps in the sand.
the only trace
that i have passed.

© 2005

Defense of Marriage

If you really want to protect the sanctity of marriage:

1. Abolish divorce
2. Make adultery a capital offense
3. Make premarital sex a felony
4. Abolish common-law marriage
   
5. Make all forms of cohabitation between an unmarried man and women illegal
   
6. Enact biblical punishments for all infractions of marriage laws
   

Leviticus 20:13

For this evening's sermon, I'll shall borrow from the teachings of Whoppi's Back to Broadway...

The so-called Christians among you often quote Leviticus 20:13 as their rationale for hating and oppressing gay people.

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

If that's your opinion, fine. You know what they say about opinions. But, my gentle snowflakes, I really think you need to read the rest of that chapter. Say, for example, verse 9.

For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.

Oh, and what about verse 10.

And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

And then there's my all-time favorite, verse 15.

And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast.

What.. Did the sheep come on to you or something?

If you use your bible to justify your bigotry, then, by all means be consistent: make adultery a crime that carries a mandatory death sentence. And none of this mamby-pamby lethal injection bullshit... I think public stoning should become all the rage.

It's just a thought...

"Can you hear me now?"

alone, in an empty room,
crowded with strangers.

stranded on a highway that goes nowhere,
with no exits,
stuck behind a herd of cows
meandering about aimlessly,
having meaningless conversations on cell phones:
"Can you hear me now?"

in the end,
utterly worthless sentiments,
spoken solemnly,
with great affectation,
overdue,
yet still so insincere.

© 2005

Do you really feel safer now?

On Tuesday, November 8th, Texas voters passed Proposition 2, a constitutional amendment providing that marriage in this state consists only of the union of one man and one woman and prohibiting this state or a political subdivision of this state from creating or recognizing any legal status identical or similar to marriage.

No one's basic human rights should ever be put to a vote. Ever. Thomas Jefferson, in his first inaugural address in 1801 said, "Though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable. The minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression."

To those individuals that comprise the 76% of the voters who approved this proposition, I have to ask, "What the FUCK is wrong with you?"

[sigh]

Okay. So, do you really feel safer now that your marriage is protected by a constitutional amendment? Given the amount of time, effort and money expended in the process, I hope you do.

Me? I'm scared shitless, sitting here wondering what you're going to do next.

Hello World!

If you are interested in blogs with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other blog. In this blog, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.