Speaking of Cell Phones...

You can't drink and drive. Why? Because it impairs your ability to safely operate your vehicle. Face it, your driving already pretty much sucks, even while you're NOT under the influence.

Talking on your cell phone has a similarly deleterious effect. So, here are some new rules:

1. If you're not dialing 911, hang up the fucking phone and drive
2. If you need to dial 911, pull over to the side of the road first
3. If someone calls YOU while you're driving, call them back later -- if it's really an emergency, they'll dial 911
   

Can you here me now?