Sexy substitute teacher 'has relations with boy'

29-year-old subtitute teacher, Cameo Patch, is facing felony charges and up to 5 years in prison for performing oral sex on a 17-year-old male student.

"All indications are the sexual activity was consensual."

Well, DUH!

"The informant stated Patch 'performed oral sex' on the student, but did not engage in sexual intercourse."

There was an informant? I'll bite: who blew the whistle? And why? Jealous, maybe? Feeling... left out? Hard up for attention, even?

Now, because the "assailant" is at least ten years older than the so-called "victim", the alleged crime is classified a third-degree felony. How... fucking dumb is that? Cum on guys -- this is a Van Halen video and every straight teenaged boy's wet dream all rolled up into one moist, slightly sticky kleenex tissue.

Cut her some slack -- I mean everyone knows that subs are supposed to be easy, right? Hell, all she did was give her student an oral exam...

Here's what you do: give her an Altoid breath mint, slap her wrist and send her home.


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tags: Cameo Patch, oral sex